tweener

i live in a glass house. Anyone who knows me will say I am fiercely honest, outspoken, up-front and strong in my convictions. I have been through enough in my time on this planet to realize that judging the inside of your home by by the outside of others is fruitless and absolutely counterproductive. I've made my mistakes (I still do thankfully) and I will not only admit to them and take responsibility for them...but I will also vow to make many more.

What some don't know about me is that I have a 9 year old son who is half of my world. The other half is his ginger brother, who clearly has life all figured out at the ripe age of 8. Nash on the other hand, has some serious challenges. Diagnosed at 4 with severe ADHD and then later at 8 with aspergers, we finally realized that it wasn't our parenting that had completely screwed the kids up. Talk to me about dyes, gluten, breast feeding, home-schooling...I fucking dare you. If you think for one second that a parent of a child with significant behavioral issues has not done EVERYTHING in their power to help their own child... you clearly have your head up your ass, or you don't have children of your own.

I am a single woman, I don't call myself a single Mom- because I am fortunate to be very close with my boys Dad. Regardless of our failed marriage, we communicate about our boys every day. It's not about us, it's about them. I feel sad for children in the middle of a shitshow. I am super fortunate to have an x-husband who loves his boys and will do anything for them, including respecting their Mother - who he could easily defame. Despite our connection to each other and our constant communication, we have our boys week on/week off. There are days during my week on that I call my boy's Dad in a slobbering heap of a mess. He answers...he totally gets it.

Our boy Nash is a "tweener". He is beautiful...not because I am his Mom- he is absolutely beautiful. He is 110% in height...lanky, blue eyes, big lips, blonde hair... and a total goddamn challenge. Kids and adults don't realize he has such significant behavioral issues, because he doesn't fit the part. They don't understand that social situations make him so anxious that he wants to crawl into the fetal position. They don't understand that a normally frustrating situation can turn into a full blown meltdown within moments.  I had to grab Nash out of the pool today after I saw an older boy squirting him with a squirt gun. I saw it going south and intervened...just after Nash swam after the kid and smacked him twice over the head.

I am a hawk. I know fair well that Nash can't hang in "normal" social situations and I have to be his advocate and make sure I either get him comfy with it or get him the hell out of there. Sadly today when a full blown boy fight broke out, the other Mom was nowhere to be seen. Her son continued to screw with the rest of the kids in the pool...and even my younger swims away knowing to avoid the confrontation. Nash on the other hand would have finished the fight - and no doubt it wouldn't be pretty.

I never blame other kids/parents, etc... because I have enough of my own to deal with and I understand that people are living a reality we know nothing about. However; when your child is totally unattended and harassing the rest of the kids in the pool and you don't give me chance to speak with you about the confrontation that our children had...you're an ass of a parent.

My tweener doesn't show signs of behavioral issues off the bat...I sometimes feel guilty about explaining that he has such significant social deficiencies. He's a rockstar. He loves big and has a hard time with assholes (as does his Mom) he loves music, he can tell you the tallest building in the world, the science behind black holes, the presidents...but he'd rather stay in his room than go to Disneyland - and that's okay. I'm not going to dress him in plaid and make him pose in a family photo.

Don't ever judge the inside of your house by the outside of others...

and after my rant, I slathered some GOOD GENES on my face. I will wake up spunky tomorrow.